Often, people in various jobs encounter a wide range of personalities. They can be described as the following: “no” people, the complainers, “yes” people, passive people, and the “know-it-alls”. The following are descriptions and tips on how to handle each of them.

“No” People: These people are negative, pessimistic, quick to point out why something will not work, inflexible, reject your ideas or programs, and resist change.

Ways to handle the “No” People: These people should have their job structured to minimize their contact with others. If possible, they should work at home and their responsibilities should be reduced. You should conduct a team “brainstorming” session on:

• Each member’s strengths and weaknesses (one member’s weakness may be another member’s strength).
• How to provide a safe atmosphere for failure (it is an opportunity for learning).
• Requiring member’s to solve problems.

Complainers: These people would rather complain than change things. They are often right, but their negativity and nitpicking turn people off.

Ways to handle the Complainers: Do not agree with them, but paraphrase what they say.

How to keep them from holding a grudge:

• Listen to them.
• Do not allow them to reinforce their beliefs about a situation. Set them straight on what actually happened.
• Get them to not focus on positions (who’s right and who’s wrong). Have them examine the other person’s behavior and motivations to understand why the issue occurred.

How to intervene in a conflict between two people:

• Separate the individuals and have them write or tell their version of the issue, and their perception of the other person’s point of view.
• Bring them together. State each person’s position. Then, have each person validate or correct the perception.
• Decide what the conflict is — define it as a mutual problem to be solved.
• Look for agreement before dealing with disagreement.
• Brainstorm alternatives.
• What is the best solution for all — pick one that works.
• Make a plan.
• Do it and follow up.

“Yes” People: These people agree with anything (commitment, conversation). They will promise to meet any deadline and rarely deliver on promises. They are always apologetic and often charming about not delivering. You cannot always trust them to do what they say they will do.

Ways to handle “Yes” People: Tie personal honor with the commitment — “Do I have your word …?” Ask them to restate the personal and important facts. Get it in writing. Even with an informal agreement, a handwritten follow-up can prevent misunderstandings.

Passive People: These people usually have no expression on their face, have a weak handshake, and a blank stare. Often, they never have any opinions or offer any ideas and never let you know where they stand.

Ways to handle Passive People: You can set an example by rewarding all the people in your group who voice opinions and take initiative. The more passive types will observe this and take action. If they are more laid back, they may share their ideas privately or in writing. After their confidence builds, they may go public with their ideas.

Know-It-Alls: These people are experts on everything. They are usually arrogant and have an opinion on everything. When they are wrong, they pass the buck or become defensive.

Ways to handle know-it-alls: There is always that person that practices one-upmanship in meetings. You can acknowledge their accomplishment and point out a way that people can work together. Such as saying “Your idea is very impressive and it sounds like, coupled with my system, we can really make can impact.” Get them to think that “all great minds think alike”.

Everyone comes up against difficult people in every part of life, but we can do something about it. Try to make the most of the differences. Trust that the other person also wants harmony. If you approach a difficult person with the belief that he is as eager as you are to restore harmony, you can make the first move, knowing the result will be something you both want. Recognize that the conversation does not have to be confrontational. Just ask to talk things over and promise to listen. This small fact will often work in relationships. Learn from others and allow them to learn from you. Remain open to other people’s opinions, viewpoints and ideas. When people feel your allegiance and support, they will be drawn to you naturally, regardless of your differences.

Working with difficult people may make your life stressful at times, with unnecessary aggravation. Remember that nobody can trouble you, unless you let them. The main ingredients of the perfect recipe for handling difficult people at work are patience and tact!